The Best Book in the World
Peter Stjernström
Language: English
Pages: 304
ISBN: 184391395X
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Who will win the race to write the best book in the world, and to what unimaginable lengths will they go to get there first? A hilarious tale of authorly competition.
Titus Jensen is middle-aged, has a fondness for alcohol, and makes ends meet by giving public readings from obscure books at festivals across Sweden. He can't help thinking there has to be more to life for an author of his quality. Eddie X is hip, a hit with the ladies, and loves being the center of attention. A radical poet and regular on the festival circuit, he can't help thinking there has to be more to life for a talented, good-looking man like himself. One night, after a successful event—Titus reads from The Diseases of Swedish Monarchs and Eddie X waxes lyrical to the thrashing tones of metal band The Tourettes—the unlikely pair get horribly drunk together and hatch a plan to achieve worldwide recognition. The answer is to write the best book in the world—a book so amazing that it will end up on all the bestseller lists in every category imaginable: thriller, self-help, cooking, business, dieting—a book that combines everything in one! But there can only be one such book, and as the alcohol-induced haze clears both men realize they are not willing to share the limelight. Hilariously quirky and witty, this novel will take readers on a meandering race to the finish line, throwing plenty of satirical punches along the way.
Naked Lunch (The Restored Text)
The sun. It’s grey. A bit brownish, sort of. That’s no sun. The sun is yellow. Then there would have been a pepper.’ ‘But what is it then?’ Titus wonders, sincerely worried by the mystery. ‘God, perhaps?’ the pizza guy hazards, and makes the sign of the cross on his white shirt. ‘Greyish-brown… yes, perhaps,’ says Titus, almost to himself. ‘An elderly man with a beard. Like in the pictures of God at primary school. Yes, perhaps it is God… who watches over the world…’ ‘You know, not all pizza.
Picture to see what dad thinks. What? A complete stranger is standing there holding his hand! A totally alien dad who gives him a friendly but wondering smile. Shame washes over Titus. He has got hold of the wrong hand. Wrong dad. Titus can’t understand that the man just thinks that he is a cute boy. He can’t understand that this is the sort of thing that five-year-olds do all the time. Get me out of here! He lets go of the man’s hand with a start, and looks up at the picture again. Staring.
Later guilty, much as Albert Einstein was not responsible for the atom bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, nor Marilyn Manson for the lethal shootings at Columbine High School. These days, with summer nearing its end, have turned into yet another intensive working period for Titus. He follows his routines of gym training and regular meals. He skips the sunbed because he risks at any moment ending up looking like a cultural drunk who has gone to seed, not least when he does that reading at the.
Necessitate a single minute’s preparation. He only has to be himself, to treat them to himself, he has tried to convince himself. As Eddie X sometimes shouts out when he introduces him on the stage: ‘Everybody has a bit of him in themselves. Yet there is only one Titus Jensen – and that is TITUS JENSEN!’ But nevertheless, today it doesn’t feel as simple as it usually does. Something important is absent. When Titus gets to the top of the stairs and is about to enter the bar, somebody puts a hand.
A reflex. Evita smiles, pleased. ‘Oh, it’s such a great idea! Listen! This is how it goes: we’re going to have two different covers. But on the same book. You see, the front and back covers are going to be upside down in relation to each other, so however you turn the book you will see a front cover. A stroke of genius, don’t you think?’ ‘Err, yeah well,’ says Titus not really understanding, and takes a gulp of juice. ‘Tell me more.’ Evita takes a deep breath and adopts her sales-conference.