The Gender Trap: Parents and the Pitfalls of Raising Boys and Girls

by adminSociology

The Gender Trap: Parents and the Pitfalls of Raising Boys and Girls

Language: English

Pages: 297

ISBN: 0814737838

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


From the selection of toys, clothes, and activities to styles of play and emotional expression, the family is ground zero for where children learn about gender. Despite recent awareness that girls are not too fragile to play sports and that boys can benefit from learning to cook, we still find ourselves surrounded by limited gender expectations and persistent gender inequalities. Through the lively and engaging stories of parents from a wide range of backgrounds, The Gender Trap provides a detailed account of how today’s parents understand, enforce, and resist the gendering of their children. Emily Kane shows how most parents make efforts to loosen gendered constraints for their children, while also engaging in a variety of behaviors that reproduce traditionally gendered childhoods, ultimately arguing that conventional gender expectations are deeply entrenched and that there is great tension in attempting to undo them while letting 'boys be boys' and 'girls be girls.'
 
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With ‘femininity.’”31 As Kimmel notes, the “notion of anti-femininity lies at the heart of contemporary and historical constructions of manhood, so that masculinity is defined more by what one is not rather than who one is.”32 Passivity and excessive emotionality, as well as iconically feminine material adornments, are precisely the kinds of features shunned in this hegemonic version of masculinity. Connell and Kimmel also view homophobia as central to this rejection of femininity. Connell states.

Stupid or something like that. And I spoke to him about that, about his feelings and how he should act about that. I guess as opposed to just breaking down and crying, walking away would be the next best thing if you couldn’t cope with it, and in terms of being a more masculine way, I’m glad he did that. But I’d like him to be able to cope with it, not to need to walk away like that. The link between gender performance and sexual orientation, and the role of parents in crafting both, came up at.

Cultivated but did not encourage for their daughter. Belinda spoke at length about a role-playing game Robert and Elizabeth play together, based on Robert’s love of Star Wars. She said the children often end up in conflict over the fact that “only two good female parts” are available in this game, Princess Leia from the older movies or Queen Amidala from the more recent ones.6 Thus Robert has an array of choice parts, whereas Elizabeth has only two. Belinda was creative in coming up with ideas.

Somewhat optimistic about reducing gendered constraints in childhood: I think ignorance is part of it, handed down through the years, you know what I mean? It’s an old, old unwritten law that’s finally starting to get a little change, which is good, but kind of hard to break old habits. . . . Some people just can’t shake it, can’t see beyond it. Marcus offered a similar analysis, identifying intergenerational transmission of gender expectations: “You’ve still got grandfathers and grandmothers,.

Insufficient; he advocates going a step further to applaud it. He went on to point to gender-segregating activities which, Thorne argues, construct gender boundaries in childhood, expressing his belief that parents, schools, and other groups should “choose more inclusiveness.”21 They go to boy scouts, they go to girl scouts—it seems like it should be more inclusive. Even when you get to kindergarten, my middle son was doing a project where they had crowns and all the girls made believe they were.

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